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She looks intimidating

Assuming you find that person attractive, what puts you off from the idea of talking to them, or if you're not into approaching, what makes you not smile, give them a "signal", or whatever you do to get their attention?

I know not everyone gets intimidated by others, but we all judge someone when we see them and decide whether we want to talk to them or not, even if we're attracted to that person.

Dressed in a black and white polka-dot dress from Topshop - which the former Kate Middleton was previously pictured wearing and subsequently caused to sell out- it is clear that the resemblance is quite striking.

Each month, a different editorial theme drives the writing, photography, and artwork that we publish.

Learn more about us here, and find out how to submit your work here! We met on the Internet (we read each other’s blogs) and then became friends IRL when we both took classes at a summer art program in Philadelphia.

Even though we went to different schools and lived in separate towns, we bonded over our similarities: We were both nerdy, ambitious feminists who liked to dress up and joke around.

Also, we’ve both been called “intimidating” by our peers, teachers, and parents, and all of them meant it as a compliment. A lot of girls we know have been called intimidating, so we decided to talk to each other about what this phenomenon actually means.

—Gabby GABBY: Do you remember what if felt like the first time someone described you as intimidating?

HAZEL: I was whining to a friend about boys not liking me, and he said, “I think guys are just intimidated by you.” I was offended—it seemed like a cop-out! A friend in high school told me that other people found me intimidating—she said it in a way that wasn’t insulting.

I initially accepted people telling me I was intimidating, but the more I thought it the angrier I got. At first I interpreted it to mean mysterious or unapproachable; since I usually felt so self-conscious and insecure, I kind of thought, I definitely used to get people saying, “Before I knew you, I thought you were a bitch.” That concerns me so much, because it makes me wonder what they were basing that assessment on—MY RESTING FACIAL EXPRESSION? Also, I felt that by calling me intimidating, people were trying to turn into something negative, as in “I don’t want to work in a group with Gabby, she intimidates me.” HAZEL: Oh shit, you’re right!

Just thinking about this on a deeper level, I think I’m just really weirded out that the way I see myself isn’t how others see me, you know? Like, immediately disliking another girl because you actually LOVE her outfit or something surface-y. When I first met one of my best friends, I didn’t like her because she was just like me.

Like I’ll think I’m being nice, but people think I’m mean, and that’s genuinely disturbing. GABBY: I don’t want people to think I’m intimidating, yet I also do this thing where I am intimidated by people who are similar to me. I was weirdly protective of my status as the bookish one who knew all the answers in class à la Tracy Flick, and suddenly here comes this brilliant chick with perfect hair who had read as much Sylvia Plath as I had.

GABBY: Also, I’ve never felt intimidating in terms of my appearance. GABBY: I don’t think you look intimidating, but you do have, like, an UNTOUCHABLE COOL. GABBY: I’ve felt this with basically every great friend I have—sort of like a game-recognize-game situation.

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