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Lonely widows dating
But should widowers and widows dating divorcees have to worry about their relationship? And if divorced, should they only date other divorcees?
What’s the combination that will give you the best chance for true companionship?
We’re always incredibly touched by the stories we hear and think it’s wonderful that both are taking steps to seek companionship.
However, some bumps along the process could possibly be avoided by not “crossing the border” from widow to divorcee.
As a result, the question has been asked: Should you be dating a widower as a divorcee, and visa-versa?
For one member who has recently come out of a relationship (we’ll call him “Howard” since he did not want his name to be shared), said that it’s not something that he would be willing to do again.
As a recent divorcee, he had begun a new relationship with a widow and at the time they dated, thought that he had finally found “the one.” He felt like his ex-wife was never really his soul mate and that his soul mate was still out there, and it was Terry (also a fake name to protect identities).
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Unfortunately, as the months passed, Howard realized that Terry didn’t consider him her soul mate. She even called out her late husband’s name during intimate moments with Howard. Howard knew he would never live up to the memory of Terry’s late husband and didn’t feel he could continue when they didn’t both think they had found their soul mate.
He said it was even more painful than his divorce, realizing that Terry would never truly be his.
Heartbroken, Howard had to walk away and is now only dating fellow divorcees.
He said, “I’ll never date a widow again.” That’s just one story. It’s been a long time since I felt this way.”Another Stitch member, “Deborah,” who is both a divorcee and widow, shared with us that she has felt a gaping hole in her life for decades.
For another couple who met on Stitch (she a divorcee named “Lynn” and he a widower named “Paul”) the question of whether they would be compatible because of their different losses never came up. Maybe we cry for different reasons, but having a shoulder to cry on, someone I love, it doesn’t matter about how we got there, just that we found each other now.”Paul said, “Of course I miss my wife and yes she was my soul mate. She and I have built a new life together and every day I’m grateful to Stitch for leading me to her. Such a mix of different trauma and pain led her to feel that the only way to feel right again was to find another husband.