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Dating men on the rebound
Rebounding: a selfish, tumultuous practice that takes the phrase “the only way to get over someone, is to get under someone else,” all too literally. When it comes to rebounding, things often do not go well; chances are your rebound will quickly discover that you've been using him/her to “win the breakup,” and promptly alert social media to your actions with some colorful profanity.
And while you may not feel you are using somebody, that pretty much comes with the territory.
A rebound rarely means trying to find another meaningful relationship with another person; it almost always means looking for something else while trying to forget what you used to have.
The date was actually really great – I was definitely into him and he showed every indication of being into me (the way he looked at me, the things he said, etc.) At one point, he mentioned that he’s really stressed right now because he just broke up with his girlfriend of 10 months a couple weeks ago.
From the beginning of this he’s texted me almost immediately and held conversations.
Now it’s been two days and I’ve heard nothing from him.
I really like this guy and feel there’s a connection, but I’m afraid that if I pursue this I’m going to end up being the rebound no matter what I do.
I thought about your situation and there are a few things I wanted to touch on in my response.
First, you mentioned that he was very stressed after having broken up his relationship of 10 months a couple of weeks ago.
You followed that up with, “I was confused because I thought he really liked me.” Maybe I’m missing something here, but his recent break up with his girlfriend has nothing to do with whether or not he likes you.
Just because he’s recently gone through a breakup or mentions that he’s stressed doesn’t mean that you don’t have something good between the two of you. Someone breaks up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they immediately date someone else and then somehow it falls apart or becomes a bad situation.
I do understand your concern though about being a rebound. But let’s really look at what’s happening here: You’ve got two people who have been dating for a while.
This is one of those conversations that I hear people talking about all the time. They’re used to each other, they expect the other one to be there and their day-to-day lifestyles are intertwined.