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Dating and remarriage after divorce
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Ahrons found that parent dating and remarriage has a significant impact on children. Ahrons suggests that this lag, which results in institutions considering only one type of family as normal, makes other forms seem deviant.
From a child’s standpoint, all family arrangements constitute a family, whether they include parents or parental figures.
However, when the arrangements include more than one household, changes in one household can influence the others.
The courtship process Nearly all the children in Ahrons’ study reported their parents dated or remarried within two years of separation.
One-third said one of their parents started dating within a year of separation.
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One-third said one of their parents had already formed a new relationship before the divorce.Ahrons found that most of the children she studied consider their parents’ dating lives strange.It is rarely easy for children to witness their parents dating.Parents may enjoy the courtship process, but children may worry about how the process will change their lives.Children age 5 to 10 are more possessive of their mother than older children.They may feel threatened or resentful at having to share their mothers with new men.Older children resent seeing their mothers showing affection to other men.Dealing with their mothers’ overt sexuality can be troubling and confusing for teens.For example, one child in the study said he thought his mother was “behaving like a teenager.” Older children who have witnessed their parents’ bad marriages are more receptive to their parents’ new relationships.Still, few teens accept a new partner as a parent figure.Many will challenge authority at every opportunity, and the more a stepparent or new partner tries to serve as a parent, the more resistant children will be.