Dating a single mom advice
When you think of a single mom on the dating scene, visions of a 20-something who can barely balance her own checkbook (guilty) probably don’t come to mind.
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Jenn,” and author of For better results when checking out prospects online, “focus on characteristics, qualities, and life desires,” adds Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, clinician and author of the relationship wellness blog, That means that if they didn’t bother to include those interests in their profile, they’re probably not worth a date.(Unless, that is, you’re just looking for a hookup—even new moms need to blow off steam!) To be fair, not everyone I’ve met on a dating app or website turned out to be a catfish (or serial killer).Still, the experts say single moms would do well to look for prospects in places other than our glowing screens.“We treat online dating like we do our social media streams and select only the images that stand out to us,” says Silva.“That creates a culture of immediate gratification, unwillingness to compromise, and objectification.We fool ourselves into thinking people, sex, or companionship is a message away—and relationships are, of course, a little harder than that.” As an alternative, Dr.Jenn suggests putting the word out to trustworthy people in your life, who can start the screening process for you: “Let family members, friends and co-workers know you’re looking to date again.You never know who might send someone great your way.” While your single girlfriends might be down for one-night stands, it’s not exactly at the top of most single moms’ to-do lists– regardless of how young we are.“You already have a family, so if you want more than a fun hookup, your focus should be on a man who’s clearly father material,” says Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of . “Keeping your sex life separate from your child is crucial,” she says.It makes perfect sense to me: My needs and desires have changed since having a child, so I want a more stable partner to be around regularly—not just for a booty call. “Having someone come in and out inconsistently isn’t good for any child, especially if they’re mourning the loss of two parents breaking up, or the absence of a parent in general.” As a young, single mom with a full plate, it’s a surprisingly common fantasy to seek out older partners for their wisdom and life experience—but experts advise not to date anyone just because he or she is your senior. “By locking into specific age, you may miss the perfect woman or man who’s right in front of you by applying these limitations.” Remember that age really doesn’t equal maturity.