Breast cancer dating services
Having cancer or a history of the disease can make the search for a relationship seem intimidating.
Social worker Barbara Golby gives advice for restoring confidence, setting expectations, and disclosing disease history and shares resources for cancer patients and survivors looking to jump into the dating scene.
Dating is exciting — but having cancer or having had cancer in the past can make the search for a relationship seem daunting. “Dating was hard and scary even before you had cancer, and all of those fears are probably still there after the cancer,” says Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical social worker Barbara Golby.
Though many cancer patients have the same questions and concerns, no two relationships are the same.
A younger person with goals of marriage and children — and potential mates who may have had little experience with serious illness — probably has different dating concerns than an older person, whose potential partners might very well be dealing with their own health issues.
Each person also has his or her own individual comfort level when discussing the disease.
Some may find it important to share their experience; others would just as soon never bring up cancer again. Golby offers the following advice to help cancer patients and survivors answer some of the questions they may have about dating.
A cancer diagnosis can shake people’s self-confidence, making them feel betrayed by their body or as if they don’t have as much control over their future as they once did, Ms. This loss of confidence can make it harder to pursue a relationship.
Start to rebuild your confidence by reminding yourself what you have to offer a potential partner and the traits you value most about yourself.
Returning to activities you enjoyed before cancer — or trying new ones — can help you feel like yourself again.
In dating, it’s normal to fret about whether another person is going to be interested in you.
But it’s also important to think about the personality traits you value in a partner.
You may want exactly what you wanted before cancer, or your priorities may have shifted.“Dating is not about finding someone who is willing to date you There might not be a magic moment when you suddenly feel the time is right to join an online dating site or accept an invitation to a party where there will be other singles.