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Learn how to take the anxiety out of the all-important first three dates and make them enjoyable learning experiences where you are in control. As I was going through the painful process of divorce, I began putting together ideas for dating that I thought would make a difference in my own life and lead me to greater success, and that I hoped would make a difference to others.Learn which qualities in a mate are most important and how to recognize them. I dated the next cute guy that I found myself standing in front of and who was willing to ask me out. The result was my first book - , published by Owl in 1996, which continues to sell today. I began by looking at previous relationships, what was good and bad about them and what happened. I followed suggestions about increasing my network of friends and acquaintances.Learn how to recognize “settle for” relationships and how to avoid them. I had no real thought or methodology that I applied to dating. Where that led me was straight into a marriage that ended in divorce five years later. You will find it in most Barnes and Noble and Borders book stores and on I paid attention to where I was in the stages of life and where the other people were.Vitally important – learn how to make sure the person you date is emotionally available for the same kind of relationship you are seeking. Nina is a media resource expert on love who is frequently interviewed in periodicals such as Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal, and Men’s Health, as well as on numerous regional television shows and hundreds of radio shows. I’ve received countless thank you letters over the years from readers who created huge positive changes in their lives as a result of using the tools in the book. There were so many excellent insights into the psychology of relationships and how to match the physical, emotional, intellectual and not settle -- and also why I settled before and how not to.Dear Reader, At one time in my single life, I had absolutely no dating game plan. I can't say enough, and after three months I found someone so incredibly right for me I can't believe it, and she feels the same!Thank you so much, Nina Atwood, I'm telling all my single friends about your book!- Jim Turner, Tucson, AZ The best book about dating relationships I have found... As a male psychiatrist at a major university student health service where inability to make good choices in finding a healthy relationship is a common presenting complaint I recommend this book when I feel the patient could benefit from some study concerning the matter. Want to date with a purpose -- to eventually find and develop a relationship that might become a committed, lifetime relationship nourishing two people? Nina Atwood combines her professional training, personal experiences and the experiences of those she has counseled, coached and corresponded with to offer insight into the problems, reassurances that you aren't the only one having them, and concrete, achievable solutions.Ordinarily I'm not really a fan of what I consider pop psychology but this book is very insightful and gives a good framework for understanding a process that we are taught very little about but somehow we are supposed to know. While slightly slanted toward the female experience (like duh), it is only slightly slanted.The reality for most us is learning in a trial and error fashion, often blindly, without much understanding about why things are going so badly and accumulating baggage along the way. The male experience, problems and point of view are clearly represented. Conflict erupts, competing emotional needs puts you at cross purposes, and before you know it, you’re headed toward breaking up.There should be a course on this in high school if education is about preparing people for life, and if so, this book would be on my required reading list. Males can benefit not only from the direct information, but also from the subtext about what women want and expect (or at least should want and expect). It is about living a full life, discovering who you truly are, being open and honest both to yourself and the world, and attracting someone who is like you. If you have never had problems dating, if you've never wondered why you broke up, if you and your partner always seem to be on the same page, if your relationship is going where you want, if you truly understand what the other is feeling, if you never quarrel about "nothing", you don't need this book. There are no great people to date – they’re all married or in committed relationships It’s dangerous to give your heart away – you’ll get hurt for sure! Even worse, one of you pressures the other into a commitment, and that leads to an out of balance marriage that is destined for failure.It’s too late for me – I guess love is not meant for me I have tried everything and nothing works There’s something wrong me – I’ll never have a good relationship And on and on and on . The other scenario is that you discover one day that . You’re now in the position of trying to “fix” or “change” the other person so that you are compatible.